Is Your Everyday Self Keeping You From Living a Happier, Healthier life?

In my invitation to bring in the new year as BEING you (not new you), I want to make a distinction between your every day, ego self and your true, essential self and how these impact your life.

Understanding these distinctions and how to connect to the powerful source that is you in order to create a life you can thrive in, feels important.

Let’s dive in:

The qualities of the everyday self (ego) and the true self are actually very different: This list was borrowed from Deepak Chopra.

1. The true self is certain and clear about things. 

  • The everyday self gets influenced by countless outside influences, leading to confusion. 

2. The true self is stable. 

  • The everyday self shifts constantly. 

3. The true self is driven by a deep sense of truth. 

  • The everyday self is driven by the ego, the unending demands of “I, me, mine.” 

4. The true self is at peace. 

  • The everyday self is easily agitated and disturbed. 

5. The true self is love. 

  • The everyday self, lacking love, seeks it from outside sources. 

Let’s Look at the qualities of the true self: the Calm self, which acts from love.

  • self-reliant 
  • evolutionary
  • loving
  • confident
  • creative
  • knowing
  • accepting 
  • expansive
  • peaceful

Whenever anyone is in crisis, whether the problem is a troubled marriage or difficulties at work or over money, the best decisions will be made if they utilize these qualities. 

Sadly, we are more likely to be driven by ego self: the crazy self which acts from fear: 

  • selfishness
  • panic
  • uncertainty
  • impulsiveness
  • limited
  • greed
  • survival instinct
  • fear


The above is how we have been trained and conditioned by society. We measure our worth by our achievements and possession. Money and status feed the ego, and we are rewarded.

To be in alignment with your best self implies all aspects of ourselves are in harmony and functioning well. 

You operate in different realms simultaneously. You’re a spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and physical being at the same time.

How to Know When You Are Out of Alignment: 

  • Feeling unsettled, restless, edgy, or anxious a lot.
  • Having a knowing or feeling something is off or not right.
  • Forcing things to happen because things are effortful rather than effortless.
  • Losing connection to what ignites your spirit or what makes you feel alive.
  • Having health challenges, whether they’re mental, emotional, or physical challenges.
  • Not dreaming of what’s possible for you.
  • Numbing out how you’re feeling and masking what’s going on for you.

To remedy this, get grounded, and back in your body in the present moment. By taking your awareness away from your thoughts and consistently bringing your attention to the present moment, you give up the labels and the BS and get yourself to reality. 

The true self understands what you really want and what you really need to be joyful. It creates a much stronger, more expansive foundation for your life than the ego-self can provide, since that is rooted in fear and insecurity. 

You do not need to hate the ego self, as it is a part of how we function as humans in our world. We just want our true, essential self to take the driver’s seat!

The true self is the source of creativity, intelligence and personal growth.

Once you begin to recognize and encourage the qualities of the true self: 

  • Your life will begin to change. 
  • You’ll make better choices. 
  • You’ll expand your awareness. 
  • You’ll discover and encourage your purpose. 
  • You’ll challenge yourself to meet new goals. 

5 TIPS to Get Connected

1. Declutter.

Get rid of the things that do not bring you joy. Create sacred, feel good spaces in your home.

2. Get quiet.

Walk in nature with it’s egoless energy. Unplug from fear provoking media, maybe it’s time to stop watching the news?

3. Taking deep breaths to get you relaxed and centered.

Engage in Meditation & yoga and those activities that get you still and guide you inward.

4. Journaling.

Writing helps us to get clarity and deeper understanding about ourselves.

5. Check in with yourself on a daily basis & ask yourself: How am I feeling, what do I need? 

This creates greater body awareness letting you know if you are in alignment or out of it. In alignment with our true self we make better choices.

The more you operate from love rather than fear, the happier and healthier you will be!

Need help finding your True Self so that you can create a life

where your SOUL has permission to SHINE?!

Let’s Connect!

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